


Fevered Dreams

by Lyzzardbrain



Series: Healers Blossoms [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Sicfic, heat cycle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-19 23:11:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17010966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyzzardbrain/pseuds/Lyzzardbrain
Summary: The Doctor had yet to explain the differences in time Lord biology. She  hoped they might form a relationship but assumed there would be lots of time before she entered a heat cycle to explain it to Yaz and negotiate how they would manage the blood fever.She was wrong.





	1. It Begins

Yaz really liked being with the Doctor. She wanted to be best friends, and unbidden thoughts of more lingered at the edges of her thoughts. 

Graham and Ryan decided they needed a bit of time at home to focus on being their own family, and left Yaz and the Doctor be alone for a bit. 

She had kissed the Doctor in a moment of joy when they solved the mystery of the lost dolphin pup, but they hadn’t even really talked about it yet.

The Doctor had yet to explain the differences in time Lord biology. She hoped they might form a relationship but assumed there would be lots of time before she entered a heat cycle to explain it to Yaz and negotiate how they would manage the blood fever. 

She was wrong. 

Once they left Ryan and Graham behind, they went shopping at the Galactic Forks Market in 4490. 

Yaz noticed the doctor’s hand getting hotter as they walked around. “Are you feeling OK? Met’s get a cold drink” Yaz suggested. 

“Yeah, lemonade would be good. There’s always someone selling a cut up lemon with sugar water in these places. 

By the time they had drinks and were sitting down, the Doctor had stripped to one sweat-soaked shirt, and was turning red. 

Yaz, whose mother was in her early fifties, recognized hot flashes. “Dr, are you having a hot flash? Do time Lord’s go through menopause? You don’t seem old enough”

“I’m a few thousand years older than I look, but I am afraid I might have picked up a bug, I do have a fever. Let’s go back to the Tardis.”

When Yaz mentioned menopause, the Doctor realized what could be happening. It felt different in a female body, so she may have missed the earlier signs, or written them off to the glow of her budding relationship with Yaz. 

At least she was confident that her attraction to Yaz wasn’t just the heat, from the first “Yaz to my friends” the doctor had been smitten. She’d watched her friend figure out her own feelings and accept the possibility of loving a woman. 

When they got back to the Tardis, the Doctor put them safely into the vortex then told Yaz she was going back to her room to try to sleep off the bug. 

“Could I catch it from you? Could it be more dangerous for me? What do I do if you get worse?” Yaz kept asking questions. 

All the Doctor would say was “I’m sorry, but it’s best you stay away. I should feel better in 72 hours. Please enjoy the ship.”

When Yaz moved in to hug her, the Doctor pulled back almost violently. “Please Yaz, I’ve had this before, just stay away.”

Blinking back tears, Yaz stepped away. “I’ll bring you food later.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, but I might. Stay back. “

The Doctor shut the door and sent a file to every screen on the ship. Her one task done, she locked her door, stripped to boxers and an undershirt, running fingers through her hair, trying to keep control, but it was slipping. All she wanted to do was call the precious girl back to cool her off - yes, rub cloths on her, touch . . .

Stop!!!

She fell into a fitful, fever ravaged sleep. 

In her dreams, images of Yaz, River, Rose, Missy, the Master, Captain Jack, Rory, Bill, Sarah Jane danced out of her reach, alluring, urgent, her own sex throbbing painfully, manifest in dreams of unfinished sex. 

Yaz decided to heed the doctor’s wish for the moment and leave her long enough to go to the infirmary to look for answers. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit to being scared by the Doctor’s harsh tone. Scared for the Doctor, not of her. 

In the infirmary, a monitor screen flashed “one message for Yaz”. When she touched the screen, a short text message and a video attachment. 

_Yaz - happened too fast. Sorry I couldn’t record a fresh message. This daft old face’ll explain. I’m so sorry. <\i> _

Yaz tapped the video. A man who looked a bit older than the doctor, with sticky- out ears who was wearing a leather jacket popped up on the screen. He had a lovely northern accent. 

_**Rose, if you are watching this I’ve come down with a rather nasty condition. Now don’t worry, you won’t catch it, but for your safety I’m warning you to keep away for 72 hours, or until the fever breaks .**_

_**You see Rose, well, I’m basically going into heat. I will have a high fever and a strong sexual desire. I know how you look at me, even if I pretend I don’t. And I know you might want to help me through it. The me that’s locked in my room would tell you anything, promise you anything for that help, but I’m not in my right mind. That’s why I’ve shut myself away. This isn’t what I want for you or for us. We’ve had some adventures. Maybe we had a special moment. I don’t want to take it any further with you when I’m like that. I don’t trust myself not to hurt you. So stay away. I may not recognize you. Let me be clear, I am not in my right mind while this is happening. This me here on the screen is. I do not consent to any funny business. Just let me get through this.** _

_**If after hearing all this you won’t do the sensible thing and leave me be, which you really should do by the way, here’s what you need to know.**_

_*** it won’t kill me or cause me long-term damage, just the same old groin ache of a teenage date.** _

_*** I can’t fix it myself, and trying makes it worse, so do videos and the like from the top rack at the shop. You being there won’t make me feel worse, but it won’t help either, because I’ve asked you not to.** _

_*** Cool flannels and cold drinks, warm blankets, hot soup all help, like any fever, but there’s no medicine, and human fever medicines are really not good for me. The Tardis will take care of me so you should stay away.** _

_*** I may not understand if you tell me to stop, I may think it’s a game. I may be too rough. So be sensible. Binge watch Big Brother, or play Sim City.** _

‘Well that was direct’ Yaz thought to herself. The Doctor had told her enough about Rose to know they had eventually been intimate, but not in the regeneration on the screen. 

But that version of the Doctor was bigger and male. Rose worked in the shops. Yaz’s Doctor was female, and smaller and lighter. Yaz was a trained cop. 

The Doctor’s lack of consent to sex was clear, but his (her implied) message to stay away seemed less so. Yaz was worried for her friend. She was confident in her ability to protect herself. 

She went to the kitchen and filled a picnic cooler with ice and a variety of cold drinks and frozen treats, and heated up some soup. She grabbed a few sets of sheets and pyjamas from the Tardis wardrobe. She changed into comfortable pyjamas, grabbed her tablet and headed to the Doctor’s room. 

The door was locked. Yaz tried knocking, and though she could hear the Doctor inside, she was delirious, talking in her sleep. 

Yaz left the cooler behind and went back to the control room where she found the doctor’s jacket, and in the pocket, her sonic. 

“Doctor, I’m coming in with some ice, fresh linens and frozen treats. “ 

Yaz pointes the sonic at the door and it opened. The Doctor looked feral, flat on her back, uncovered except boxers and an undershirt. Her hair stuck out on all angles, sweat drenched and matted. Her nipples showed through her sweat drenched top. 

Yaz quickly checked her vitals, saw the fever was high. When the Doctor roused slightly, a straw with ice water was ready, and Yaz gently wiped her sweat drenched brow. 

Slightly more awake, the Doctor croaked “I told you to stay away, but I’m glad you’re here. Ignore the message I sent, let’s just have a night in.” 

“You’re unwell Love, I’m here to tend to you, that’s all.” We can do a movie marathon if you’re up to it later.” 

“Movies with Yaz. Brilliant.” Have you seen “Better than Chocolate”, “But I’m a Cheerleader” “Bound”? A marathon of “B” lesbian movies” 

Firmly Yaz replied “once you are feeling better. I was thinking “Star Wars, it has my favourite Disney Princess, Leia Organa.” 

The Doctor’s typical quick Witt was filled by the fever, but she did smile. “She’s hot, but not as hot as you. Yaz, aren’t you too hot? Take off those warm clothes.” The doctor reached clumsily for Yaz’s clothes. 

Yaz smiles at the Doctor’s fever induced randiness, and gently removed her hand. “How’s about some popsicles, they’ll cool you down. 

They are the frozen treats, the Doctor being ridiculously seductive. Yaz would be lying if she didn’t acknowledge, at least to herself that all of this was turning her on. Nevertheless, she is a professional, and capable of controlling herself. 

The Doctor did manage to get quite a bit of red popsicle all over her face and shirt, and Yaz suggested she take a cool shower and come back to clean sheets and pyjamas. Yaz made sure the door was open, and she kept a close ear as she remade the bed. 

More than anything, Yaz was embarrassed for the Doctor. It wasn’t like her to be so immodest. 

The Doctor emerged soaking wet, with a towel on her head and nothing else. Yaz diverted her eyes, handing the Doctor another towel and pyjamas. “Please get dressed Doctor”. Yaz was kind but firm. 

The Doctor pouted adorably, “ wouldn’t you rather I stay like this? I rather like how this body looks. Am I sexy Yaz?” 

Yaz gulped and the doctor noticed and winked. She rolled her eyes, realizing this would be like dealing with a drunk. “You need clothes on. Let’s get you comfortable.” Ignoring her own discomfort, Yaz got the doctor covered up. She even dared to sit on the Doctor’s bed and stroked her hair while she fell back to sleep. 

Yaz settled herself on the couch and tried to sleep while the Doctor slept. The Doctor’s moans were _distracting_. Yaz ignored the throbbing between her own legs and drifted into a light sleep, resting for the strength to survive the next few days. 


	2. Touched like a virgin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was turned on, but didn’t want to be turned on. Her body remembered everywhere the Doctor touched and everywhere she didn’t. Yaz was beginning to understand why the Doctor didn’t want her to allow these urges to define their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for non-con and discussion of rape. 
> 
> Why can’t I just write smut and not go all preachy? (For non-preachy smut see Don’t smell the flowers chapter 13)

Yaz was 19 years old. She had started police training right after secondary school. She was always about the work, school, the mosque. She didn’t date much, and never seriously. 

Sex was a thing she wasn’t supposed to give to boys. Although a strong advocate for the queers in her school, she never let herself really consider herself one of them. Someone at the GSA defined asexual to the group, and Yaz thought that might be her. She never was all that interested in boys. 

She’d always stopped herself from thinking she might be attracted to girls. As friends maybe, but she had never let herself think about how two women might have sex. Until now. 

It started innocently enough, considering she was caring for a woman desperately trying to bed her. She was trying to analyze her situation and figure out how to keep herself safe and respect the Doctor’s wish that they not have sex. What was this sex they weren’t having? 

About six hours after they returned to the Tardis, Yaz had drifted off to sleep on the couch. She was dreaming that the Doctor had taken her on a lovely picnic, and they were cloud watching together, the Doctor’s head on her breasts. Yaz woke up to the Doctor kneeling on top of her, rutting against her thigh, with one hand squeezing her breast, the other loosening her pyjama bottoms. “Hello Yaz, you were just so sexy lying there, I hope you don’t . . .

Police training kicked in, and within moments the Doctor was on the floor with Yaz’s knee in the small of her back. 

“Officer Khan have I been a naughty girl? Will you need to arrest me?”

“We’re not doing this right now Doctor. Please keep your hands to yourself. “. Yaz let the Doctor go. 

“ I’d rather keep your hands to myself. Do you think one of my boobs is bigger than the other? The Doctor firmly put Yaz’s hands on her breasts. “Does this turn you on?” 

At that moment Yaz wasn’t feeling turned on, being violated in her sleep actually had her more shaken up than she wanted to admit even to herself. She was turned on, but didn’t want to be turned on. Her body remembered everywhere the Doctor touched and everywhere she didn’t. Yaz was beginning to understand why the Doctor didn’t want her to allow these urges to define their relationship. 

Yaz made herself some coffee and grabbed a puzzle book to keep her awake. As the surprise of the wake-up wore off, and the Doctor drifted back into a fevered sleep, Yaz started thinking more about what sex with the Doctor could really be like if things were normal. 

Yaz had given herself black and white categories around sex. Other people could do what they liked, but she would follow her faith and not dishonour her father by not being a virgin on her wedding night. It seemed easy to her. She didn’t want to be sexual with men, so she would make a good chaste Muslim woman. Then the Doctor literally fell from the sky, and Yaz’s world exploded. The wonder and awe of the universe she experiences drew her so much closer to God, but left her questioning if the beliefs she held about some areas, like sex, made sense. A universe so vast and diverse, societies where men bear sons, witnessing her grandmother’s first wedding, these experiences made her easy answer feel incomplete. 

Ideals that protected women 1500 years ago may not be for all time. Her father with his house full of trash and terrible Pakora was so proud of her for what she did as a Police Constable, for how she cared for her Noni, and how the children in their Flat Courtyard worshipped the ground she walked on. He was no more proud of her Hyman than he was ashamed of her sister’s. He had no use for any man who looked down on the young women he raised. 

Yaz knew sex was powerful. As a female Constable, she sat in on many gut wrenching rape kits, and saw too often how “not enough evidence” left the victim feeling like it was a guilty verdict on her. 

She saw women brutally raped by estranged husbands who didn’t realize that marital rape was now a crime. 

Society needs rules around sex, but the old rules aren’t working. Yaz knew that it would indeed be up to her and her generation to figure some of this out. If she knew one thing though, consent was key. A person had to be able to give consent and give it enthusiastically. The people who felt violated were the ones who didn’t, or couldn’t consent, or who consented because they had to, and that wasn’t consent at all. 

Her brief encounter this day with non- consent reminded her of all of that. She had put herself in harms way without assessing the danger. That danger, in this case, was still Yaz’s dear friend, still very ill, and now sleeping again. 

Yasmin Khan now had a woman writhing in her sleep, begging Yaz to touch her. _‘it’s a sexual situation so a sexual response is normal_ ’ Yaz was quietly chanting to herself like a mantra. The truth was that she had never been so turned on in her life before, and she had no idea what to do with it. 

For the time being she focussed on keeping the doctor as comfortable as possible. The first several hours mostly consisted of rehydrating the Doctor through the bouts of fever induced sweat. I’d Yaz hadn’t been asleep, the Doctor never would have gotten into such a sexual position with her. 

As the Doctor approached 12 hours, and she was fully hydrated, things would indeed change. The fever still controlled her motives, but her motives would soon control her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure I wanted it to go this way. Darker than I anticipated. Please talk to me in the comments.


	3. T-t-t-t-t-t-touch me, I wanna feel dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya see, I’ve got this thing, this sort of time Lord flu, and you’ve been doin’ a great job helping me, keep the fever down, but there’s one other thing that would be super helpful. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a bit of Rocky Horror Picture Show vibe going on. Expect some boring scientist at the beginning. 
> 
> TW sexual assault related themes, knowing better and doing it anyway? Victim blaming? I don’t know!!!!!
> 
> I’m writing to ask the questions, not because I know the answers

For the Doctor, the blood fever was a surreal time. The demanding ache in her groin effected everything. Her regular brain fighting for control from a lower hindbrain function. 

As time lords had evolved higher cerebral functions and greatly extended lives through regenerations, many simply chose not to have children. As a result, when a random mutation led to “super fertile cycles” once every few years, the gene strengthened quickly through the population, and intensified. 

Although time Lords in female bodies are fertile for a few days out of a month like many other humanoids, roughly every three years through their prime child bearing years, multiple eggs would be released along with a flood of hormones and psychoactive chemicals that make the drive to mate impossible to ignore. 

For time Lords in male bodies, the three days could line up to a humanoid female in close association. 

As with nearly every species that reproduces sexually, same- sex attraction and coupling happened with time lords including through their heat cycles. The ancient genetic benefits on a population level of same sex couples is not easily overwritten. 

As a result of these two powerful genetic drives, the Doctor was temporarily biologically driven beyond her conscious control to have sex with Yasmin Khan. 

She would wake up to Yaz tending her, cold drinks, more blankets, fewer blankets, cold water, hot soup and tea. At one point, half awake, her demanding need was the super-sensitive one between her legs. She went to find Yaz, who was asleep on the couch. 

The Doctor went to wake her up, but the act of touching her was too much and the _desperation_ came over her like a wave.

In a flash she was face down on the floor. Yaz would not be taken. Her physical dominance established in the Doctor’s fever ridden brain, the force of her prodigious intellect was engaged in service of her baser drive to share genetic material. 

The Doctor decided to try a direct approach. She walked back over to the couch where Yaz was reading. 

“I’m sorry about before. May I sit down?”

Yaz moved her feet out of the way and the Doctor sat at the other end of the couch. 

“Ya see, I’ve got this thing, this sort of time Lord flu, and you’ve been doin’ a great job helping me, keep the fever down, but there’s one other thing that would be super helpful. “

Yaz looked over warily, fully expecting another crude attempt at sex. It had been so over the top, that it had been easy to dismiss. 

“What do you need Doctor”. The voice of tolerant patience that will never give in. 

“No, really, I’m sorry about before, I got muddled and confused in the fever. No, I’d feel so much better if we could just sit together for awhile. I’m starting to feel a bit better. 

Yaz was still wary, but the Doctor did seem a lot more like herself. 

Both women sat cross legged on the couch sideways, and the Doctor gently took Yaz’ hands. 

“Thank you so much for staying with me. I didn’t really remember everything I said in that video.”

Unfortunately for the Doctor, Yaz was a trained officer and caught the lie right away. Yaz let her keep talking in hopes of learning more. She hates that she didn’t feel safe with her friend right now, but she couldn’t quite see it necessary to leave. Perhaps if she knew more she could help her friend through this without going against the Doctor’s sober wishes. 

“I’m in this heat cycle, and it makes me super thirsty, like, randy. It’s not going to go away if I don’t have mutually satisfying sex. I’d really like to get through this so I can get on with my life. How can I find someone to just scratch this itch for me?”

A small part of Yaz started wondering if there was really anything so bad in helping her friend through this. She didn’t really know what to do, but was pretty sure the Doctor did. Her arousal was starting to pool again, following these thoughts to their natural conclusions. She heard the omitted details, it would all be done in 72 hours, not some kind of forever in sexual frustration. But for the Doctor, three days might be so difficult to bear. Why not help her out?

Yaz let her thumbs rub across the Doctor’s hands, holding her green eyes in her own. “Tell me the truth, Doctor, what would it take to make this better for you? What are you asking?” 

Yaz knew she was playing with fire. The ease with which she had overcome the Doctor’s advances was making her feel confident that she could handle whatever comes.   
_  
“I’m asking you not too”_

His words echoed in her head. Not to, not to what?

“Touch me Yaz,”. The Doctor moved her and Yaz’s hand to the Doctor’s breast. At the moment of contact, the Doctor moaned an unearthly moan, like she was on the verge of orgasm in a second. Yaz pulled back her hand as if scalded. 

“You, other you, told me not to do this. He said he didn’t consent. Nothing could be plainer.”

“That wasn’t me, I haven’t had that face in centuries. I’m here now, this me, the one you’ve been feeding, soothing with flannels, the one whose breast you just felt wants more. “

Yaz was drawn to the argument and felt the guilt. If she really wanted to do what Ears said, she’d be playing Sim city right now. 

“What more do you want?”

Yaz would not allow the Doctor to use any kind of sex toy on her, and would not let herself be sexually penetrated, not would she penetrate the Doctor. That’s what he meant, right? What she meant showing him the video?

“Hold me Yaz, just a hug, I promise. Your body next to mine cools me down better than any flannel. “

The Doctor sounded so sincere, so earnest, Yaz felt this would be OK. They moved over to the bed, and lay close in each other’s arms. Yaz stroked the Doctor’s hair. “Is this helping? “

“Yes” the Doctor spoke aloud, though her insides were screaming. The little bit of contact was not enough. 

Soon the Doctor had intertwined their legs, and started rocking against Yaz’s thigh. Yaz didn’t immediately recognize how much sexual stimulation the Doctor was getting from that contact, until she moaned aloud. 

“Oh Yaz, it feels so good to be here with you like this.” The doctor shifted position, and her thigh was now also pressing into Yaz’s groin. 

The immediate jolt of arousal caught Yaz off guard. She had mistook the rocking for a more comforting motion until she recognized its full meaning. 

“Doctor, I think this is enough cuddling for now. Let’s get some popcorn and watch a movie. “

Yaz carefully kept space between them through a marathon of absolutely non romantic non sexual films. But Yaz was approaching 36 hours without real sleep when the final credits on “Empire Strikes back rolled. 

“Doctor, I’m going to go to my room to get some sleep. You try to do the same.”

Yaz thought about taking the sonic with her, but hated to take it away from her friend, so hoped that locking her bedroom door would be enough of a deterrent. 

Unfortunately, she did not know what new hormone- psychoactive cocktail would hit the Doctor’s bloodstream at the 48 hour mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am sorry. Please comment. I love this ship, I don’t know why I can’t just enjoy it like a normal person. Maybe they can sit by a fire, talk about the stars and finally kiss. Why can’t I write that? Why must I go here!!!!!


	4. Like riding a bike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW sexual assault/ rape the Doctor forces the issue. Yaz makes her choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t want to do it. She’ll hate herself for this

The Doctor woke up alone, fever consuming her mind. She could still smell the human’s pheromones in the room and she needed **more**. ‘More time with you’ the woman had said. She wanted to mate with the Doctor. She had said so. She had tended her during the fever. She had touched and been touched. Now the chase was on. 

The Doctor prepared herself, washing, preening, and preparing. Wearing only a Tardis blue short robe, the Doctor was ready. The girl had even left the sonic, a clear indication she wanted to be found. 

Following the trail of delicious pheromones, the Doctor arrived at Yaz’s room. The sonic, her calling card, let her in. Her beautiful lover slept, one leg alluringly revealed from the knee down. 

The Doctor wasted no time, now that she was in the same room, she could finally worship her gorgeous goddess. 

Beginning with the revealed foot, the Doctor gently caressed the exposed skin, moving to light kisses on any exposed skin. She was getting drunk on even this first appetizer of the feast before her. 

Yaz stirred slightly in her sleep, revealing a hand. The twin wonders before her, a hand and a foot fed the fire within. “I have found you at last my lovely.” 

The Doctor held her companion’s hand in her own before guiding it to her throbbing, soaking core. 

Yaz dreamed that she had a new puppy licking her hand, but slowly drifted awake and was startled, guilty and embarrased to find the Doctor wearing only a scant robe was rubbing her labia on Yaz’s hand. 

She took a moment to take stock of the situation before reacting or letting the Doctor know she was awake. Yaz had had no intention to assault the Doctor. Her door was locked. She wore more restrictive clothes than usual for sleeping. Unlike before, for whatever subjective reason, she did not feel violated by this act. If anything, she felt empowered and aroused. _sexual situation brings sexual response_ If she just ignored the Doctor, let her work this thing out . . .

No. Yaz knew what was right, or did she? compassion, ending suffering? Is that more important than respecting someone’s self determination? As a police officer she knew three things. Firstly, in theory, the law favoured her following the clearly expressed wishes of the Doctor in her right mind. Secondly, she would never be charged, never mind convicted under criminal law, not just because she was an officer, but because she is a woman. Finally, under civil law, the Doctor could sue, but would not have a strong case, especially if Yaz was passive, and was in no way charged with the Doctor’s care. 

All these thoughts organized themselves in a few seconds, and Yaz took action. As gently as she could she reclaimed her hand, wiping it on her sheet, filing away for later consideration just how much lubrication was there. 

“We can’t do this Doctor”. 

The Doctor whined. “Yaz I want you so bad right now. Please, just let me, the fever ‘urts. Won’t you help a mate? - a friend?”

“I’m sorry Doctor, not this time.” Yaz smiled gently. She wasn’t angry, but she was stubborn. 

Something flickered across the Doctor’s eyes, a molten steeliness and a force. For the first time in all of this, Yaz was afraid _of_ the Doctor. Despite her training, Yaz was no where near strong or fast enough to stop what happened next. The young officer realized that the Doctor must have let her pin her before, because she was thoroughly immobilized, but would only be injured if she fought. She tried to get the Doctor to talk. 

“What are you doing Doctor?”  
“I won’t hurt you, but I can’t wait any more. No more games”. The Doctor growled ferally in Yaz’s ear. She untied the drawstring on the officer’s pyjama pants and gently but firmly pulled them down. 

“Stop Doctor!! Don’t touch me there! I said No! I’ve never done this, don’t make my first time be this. “ Yaz feared the pain, and ached for the betrayal, and for how the Doctor would feel about it when this horrible fever finally broke. 

“Please don’t fight me Yaz. I don’t want to hurt you.” Yaz was expecting the Doctor to penetrate her. Wasn’t that what she needed? That would hurt, how could it not? 

Yaz was surprised as the Doctor’s hand grazed lightly over her stomach, and trailed gently to her pubic mound, cupping her tenderly, experimentally. When a slender finger briefly slipped between the outer lips close to her vagina Yaz started and cried out in dismay. 

“No penetration. I understand. I need you to come for me Yasmin. I just need to make you feel good. “ 

Studying her momentarily, the Doctor withdrew to focus only at the top of her mound, the Doctor’s palm holding Yaz’s vulva almost like she was holding herself to not pee. Yaz moaned, what the Doctor was doing actually did feel very good.

“Please trust me Yaz. I don’t want to hurt you. I **need** you to feel good. I won’t put anything in your vagina. I can tell that won’t work. “

“I’ll release you if you stop fighting me. Tell me if anything doesn’t feel good, and I’ll stop. “

Yaz didn’t fully understand, yet she could knew the Doctor was telling the truth. She relaxed somewhat.   
Up until this point Yaz had been focused on the Doctor’s lack of consent. At this moment, despite being fully overpowered, she considered her own. Her friend the Doctor needed something from her. It was not Yaz herself, but the fever that had taken away the Doctor’s consent for herself. 

Yaz decided right then to freely give the fever Doctor what she would take anyway, whatever that was. 

“Release me Doctor, if I can help cure your fever I will. Tell me what you need. “ at the words ‘release me’ the older woman smirked. The Doctor let her go. Yaz put her hand tentatively back on her friend’s vulva, unsure of what else to do. 

The Doctor pulled a small cylinder from her robe pocket, and flipped a switch on the bottom. It started vibrating in the Doctor’s hand. She touched it gently to Yaz’ hand, so she could feel what it was like. 

The Doctor wiggled herself on Yaz’s hand, while gradually moving the bullet towards Yaz’s vulva. As it touched the tip of her slit, Yaz moaned again at the intensity. 

“That’s it Yaz, you’re doing great”

Yaz convulsed and pulled away from the toy, uncertain of what had happened but suddenly much more sensitive. The Doctor took the toy hungrily, licked it lightly and put it in Yaz’ fingers by her own clit. A moment later she convulsed as well. 

“Thank you Yaz”. The Doctor sighed. 

“Was that it?” Yaz was perplexed. Three days of fighting her friend back, and that was all it took? That little bullet felt like riding her bike on cobblestones. She knew the sensitivity wouldn’t last long. 

The Doctor trembled and sweat as her fever broke. Yaz sat with her, again tending her with cool cloths. They both fell into an exhausted sleep. 

***** to be continued *****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaz doesn’t know about female orgasms at this point in the series.


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the fever, will Yaz stay, willthe Doctor let her?
> 
> I can’t always protect you from the monsters Yaz, and sometimes the monster can turn out to be me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Process of processing the process

When Yaz woke up, the Doctor was gone, so the young officer went to find her. She was vaguely surprised to see the Tardis parked back in 2018, Cardiff. Doctor was no where in sight, but there was an envelope on the console that just said “Yaz”

Inside was a one month, first class flexible train pass and folded piece of coil bound notebook paper. Yaz slumped against an amber pillar, expecting a note telling her to leave. She wouldn’t be too far from the truth as she read the note. 

__

_Yaz, First of all, thank you for travelling with me, and having me for tea. Friends like you have been to me are so rare and so precious, and I’m so sorry I have broken the trust of that relationship._

Yaz’s fresh tears mixed with dried tears staining the page. **no!**. 

_I can’t always protect you from the monsters Yaz, and sometimes the monster can turn out to be me, like it was these past few days. I remember everything, I was aware of everything as it happened and I couldn’t stop myself, or I wouldn’t. I told you to stay away and you didn’t. I tried to keep you safe from me  but I can’t. I took things from you that can never be replaced. I don’t know if I can look you in the eye again knowing that. You deserve better than this. Better than me. I’m leaving you a train ticket so you can go home. _

_not feeling like the Doctor today._

Yaz slumped, trying to breathe, trying not to hyperventilate. She heard a sound, a heart breaking keening. “Doctor!”

Yaz took off at a full sprint to the source of the sound, deep in the lower decks of the Tardis. The bench of an old can served as a cot where the Doctor lay , her face buried in one of Yaz’s shirts, screaming and crying. 

Unseen, Yaz slipped out to the little kitchen she had passed on the way in. She made tea and custard creams, thanking the Tardis with a tap. 

When she came back in, the Doctor was sitting up but still shaking with soul wrenching sobs. 

“Yaz, why are you still here?”

“All of space and time for as long as I want with the best person I ever met is better than a month in Britain by myself?” Yaz paused and swallowed. 

Hard. 

Her voice broke “if you’ll let me stay.”

The Doctor was uncharacteristically quiet. So Yaz took the role of the rambling one. “I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t leave you alone and sick. I knew the risks. To be honest, if you’d jus splained at the beginnin’ I’d have helped you. It wasn’t so horrible. “

The Doctor tried to interrupt, but Yaz kept going.

“It’s my turn to talk. And you didn’t take anything, not a thing from me. I spent the last three days bound by that ‘daft old face’ and his wishes. You were ill with a condition that made you physically and mentally incapacitated. A simple, non invasive procedure that was easier than giving blood could have saved you all that. Don’t take my inexperience for prudishness. How sick you were was a much greater harm to the world than any concept of ‘purity’ I might have had. And it wasn’t your choice to make for me.”

Yaz sat down after her speech beside the Doctor and handed her a mug of tea. Much more meekly , she continued. “So can I stay?”

The Doctor looked up with a small smile that almost reached her eyes, but her eyes wouldn’t come anywhere near Yaz’. “You are amazing Yaz. I still feel so embarrassed, caught short by this stupid thing. And I can see everything I did through my own eyes. I see myself assaulting you, trying to rape you. I saw the terror when I had you pinned.”

“I’m OK Doctor. If you had had to do the other thing, I would have still been ok. I wish you could have seen through my eyes, heard through my ears. You absolutely believed I wanted to have sex with you. I was ethically, maybe legally bound by big-ears. I had to stop you. You were so uncomfortable. Even when you pinned me your first concern was not hurting me. Rather than ask me to help you were willing to suffer three days locked alone in your room with the madness of a blood fever. That’s truly selfless.”

Yaz reaches out her hand to the Doctor’s chin. “Please look at me.” Yaz waited firm but patient until the Doctor met her gaze. “I. Forgive. You. I don’t want you to suffer or be punished or to punish yourself. Please forgive me for not respecting your wish to be left alone.”

The Doctor nodded almost imperceptibly, then collapsed into a fresh round of tears in Yaz’s arms. When they had both exhausted their tears, Yaz suggested “let’s grab the boys and get some pizza”.

The doctor told the Tardis to bring them for pizza. She was highly unimpressed when they materialized in the Erosian system. “You three go get the pizza. I need to adjust sometimes thing on my ship. She handed them a pamphlet. Straight there, straight back, and whatever you do, don’t smell the flowers.” 

**continued in “Don’t Smell the Flowers”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The adventure continues, this time it’s Yaz with sex spores.


End file.
